


Syo’s Dick is as Tall as Natsuki

by iFanClover



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Also Also Cecil Says Something Bad, Also There’s a Mention of Blowjobs, It is No Exaggeration Either, It’s Hard for Even Me to Tell Whoops, It’s Only at the End and it Doesn’t Go into Big Detail Don’t Worry, Like in the Title, M/M, Syo Has a Big Dick, That Title is Literal, and horses, implied sexual content???, just a heads up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 10:38:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16262504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iFanClover/pseuds/iFanClover
Summary: Ranmaru stumbles upon something that you can only find in the deepest darkest depths of the mind of an idiot who has nothing else to do but provide for her people.





	Syo’s Dick is as Tall as Natsuki

**Author's Note:**

> this was a request by an anon on my utapri tumblr sideblog
> 
> they wanted me to write about syo’s dick
> 
> so here we are

“How the fuck do you keep that thing in your pants?!”

Syo instantly turns around to face Ranmaru staring back.

“Oh, hey Ranmaru-senpai.”

“Don’t ‘hey Ranmaru-senpai’ me.” Ranmaru looks around the room, trying to avoid the very obvious pole in the room.

Natsuki moves into view. “Hi, Maru-chan-senpai!!” He waves.

Ranmaru stares at Natsuki lying down naked on the bed. “. . . Hello,” he says. He fidgets around in place until he remembers why he’s here in the first place. “Have you seen where Ai is? I need to talk to hi–“

“I’m right here, Ranmaru.” Ai closes his laptop and stands up from his spot on the couch. “What is it that you need?”

Ranmaru is now frozen. “Wh-What??” he asks, mostly to himself. “Why are you not reacting to what your two kouhais are doing?!”

“Oh that?” Ai looks over at Syo and Natsuki. “They do that every day at this time.”

“What??”

“They complained about how they barely have any time for themselves, so I decided to add one-and-a-half hours of personal free time to their schedules,” Ai explains. “Apparently, this is what they want to do with that time.”

Ranmaru’s eyes raise and his eyebrows widen. “You aren’t objecting to this?”

“It’s their free time, not mine.”

“Ai, you concern me.”

“One time, Camus joined them to show off his lack of a gag reflex,” Ai says, ignoring the last comment.

Syo blushes at the mention of Camus. “I have never seen a person engulf my entire dick until he went and did it.”

“To be honest, I’m a little jealous.” Natsuki giggles.

“Oh, you’re in Big Bone Mode!” Cecil exclaims.

Everyone looks to where Cecil is standing in the doorway. They were too focused on what was inside the room that they didn’t see Cecil come by at all.

Cecil starts to get a little uncomfortable from the staring. “A-Am I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all,” Ai responds.

“Oh, thank!”

Natsuki blinks a couple of times. “What’s Big Bone Mode?”

“Oh, Big Bone Mode? That’s what Ren told me all about when he was teaching me the wonders of Undertale!” Cecil explains.

Ai mutters a quiet “Oh no.”

“Basically, it’s the attacks made by the mega loaf vagina skeleton!!”

“Mega loaf what now?” Ranmaru stares at his innocent-looking kouhai with eyes of concern and fear. What has Ren been teaching him?

“Mega loaf vagina!”

“It’s Megalovania,” Ai corrects.

“Mega loaf vagina.”

“Megalovania.”

“Mega loaf vagina.”

“Megalovania.”

“Mega loaf vagina.”

“Megalovania.”

“Mega loaf vagina.”

“Megalovania.”

“Mega loaf vagina.”

“You know what? I give up.” Ai throws his hands up in defeat.

“Oh yeah, I need to ask you something, Ai-senpai,” Cecil says.

Ai sighs. “What is it?”

“What do you do when you get a carrot stuck in your butt?”

Ai’s right eyebrow almost falls off his face. “You have a carrot stuck in your butt?”

“It was an accident!!”

Ai shakes his head and smiles. “Come, I shall take you to my experimental lab.” He places a hand on Cecil’s back.

“Oki doki!”

The two walk out of the room and into the hallway. Ranmaru, still trying to take in everything he heard, tries to get back on track.

Cecil got a carrot stuck in his ass? How the fuck does that happen?!

Well, at least he’s with Ai. He’s a pretty trustable guy. . . .

Wait.

Oh.

Oh no.

_Oh God no._

_AI IS TAKING CECIL TO HIS FUCKING SEX DUNGEON_

Ranmaru immediately bolts out of the room screaming, “CECIL DON’T GO WITH HIM HE’S DANGEROUS!!!”

Now, all who’s left in the room are Syo and Natsuki. Syo sighs in relief and closes the door. “Thank fuck, we’re finally alone.” He gets on top of Natsuki. “Now, where were we~?”

“I was just about to say something to you when Maru-chan-senpai came in,” Natsuki answers. “Do you still want to hear it?”

Syo smiles and caresses Natsuki’s cheek. “Of course, I love your voice to bits.”

Natsuki looks up at Syo with shy eyes and says, “Je t’aime, Syo-chan~!”

Syo pauses for a moment as he feels something twitch against him. “I have no fucking clue on what you just said, but holy shit my dick is harder than ever.”

**~Epilogue: QUARTET NIGHT’s Meeting (Moments After Ranmaru Saved Cecil)~**

Reiji pumps his maraca-bearing fists into the air. “Alright, my boys!” he shouts. “Let’s get started up in here!!”

Ranmaru leans forward in his seat. “Okay, but first, I’d like to say something.”

“Alright, Ran Ran. Go ahead!” Reiji sits back down in his seat.

“Okay.” Ranmaru takes a deep breath, then turns towards Camus. “Is it true that you gave Syo a blowjob and managed to take in all of it?”

Camus looks taken aback. “Where did that come from all of a sudden?”

“C’mon, you can’t deny it!” Ranmaru points to Ai. “I have a witness to contradict your words!”

Ai shrugs. “I never asked to be a part of this, but okay.”

“I never tried to deny it,” Camus responds.

“ _Aha!!_ ” Ranmaru grins wildly. “You–wait, what?”

“Are you starting to go deaf?” Camus insults. “I shall repeat myself to spare your poor hearing: I never tried to deny it.”

Ranmaru goes back into his seat. “Wait, so. . . I-It’s true??”

“Yes, it is absolutely true.” Camus smirks. “I don’t tend to brag often, but my gag reflex _is_ quite the phenomenon.”

“I-I. . .” Reiji stutters. “I don’t know what’s going on. . .”

“Camus sucked Syo’s Natsuki-sized dick,” Ai briefly explains.

“Oh,” Reiji says. “O-Oh. . .”

“I do have to say,” Camus continues, “I didn’t expect his member to be longer than a horse’s.”

A dead silence instantly sweeps its way into the room. It takes a moment for Camus to realize what he just said aloud. When he does, his face flushes a deep red as he turns his head away from the group.

“Myu-chan. . .” Reiji hesitantly speaks. “How do you kno–“

“ _It was a one time thing, okay?!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> welp
> 
> here we are at the end
> 
> i apologize for having to put you through this


End file.
